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Dating Dynamics – The Dark Side

Below are in the moment thoughts, meaning that it is one perspective which I think many people could connect to. I am not striving to be right about anything, but perhaps the main point in reading this is that if you have been through some difficult times in the dating field, you may relate to some of this. 🙃 Enjoy 😊

Meeting new people, depending on your internal purpose for the affair, can feel like a kick in the teeth. Within the possibility of dating someone, fear is a source, the unknown is a dagger, and the person in front of you could be your worst nightmare.

How can you tell who is a genuine voice, to someone who will toss you aside without a second thought? Suddenly, the idea of dating anyone becomes so far off that you imagine yourself living in a small cabin in the woods, with cats, dogs, and loving it, but noticing that internal wish that you had found someone to share the life you just had. Perhaps not because you felt lonely, but because the intimacy, love, connection, and building an important relationship in your life was the one thing you craved for the most.

Eyes could be wide open to the people whom will eventually treat you like a billboard. Billboards are perhaps enjoyed for a while, but eventually they are boring, lack value, and need to be changed.
Storms are better, but they roll in like a powerful entity and leave as a calm river leaving behind flooded homes. You may still look back and keep the storm of electrical energy alive, but it has already past, and there isn’t anything left but a mess to clean up.

Forgiveness squeezes it’s way in, while vulnerability knocks out any possibility of grace… or “saving face”. Detrimental to your journey, you are now the person that left their values at the door, as you push aside all the feelings that crushed your heart to begin with. Danger feels so close now, and there they are, standing in the doorway, asking for your hand. Who are the people that will encourage a life of balance and love, and not leave you stranded while you continue to feel so hurt?

You played a role but how did that person infront of you show you they cared, show you they were going to help you set your heart free, show you they were going to stand by you but let you go when life surround you with doom? Does it matter? Did you get what you wanted, or what you thought you would get out of that relationship? Why? Perhaps your eyes were divided on what you felt you deserved -, perhaps not much – with a side of internal suffering.

Shadow the good feelings because tomorrow the pages will turn and you won’t know who you’re sitting across from. Drain the pipes of madness because there is a whole new level of psychedelic moments heading your way, and once the excitement is over, the walls build up further than before. Gently swaying before you, your heart is sitting in a box with a chain around it, being dragged to the next destination of closed doors and a new lead for painful memories.

The above are perhaps experiences people have had or fear they will have by opening their heart to someone they don’t truly know yet. Without a time machine and the ability to change what will happen, you may continue to need to create incredibly strict boundaries around your heart. Because.. you are tired of all that… and you would rather stay single and enjoy your own loving and nurturing company than simply being an extension of someone else.. Especially if that someone else continued to hurt you while you continued to forgive them because of how much you love them and know they hold the possibility of so much love. Thank goodness chains can be broken, but our memories stick and you can’t make them disappear, only slowly release the pain over time while finding your inner strength, worth and reason to feel and accept a sense of joy in any moment possible. But slow release of pain only happens with an open door that shows you how self – expression is of value.

Trapped, can be the experience of someone feeling held back from their lives of freedom. A freedom that they remembered before experiencing this relationship of closed doors to various new beginnings, such as a first kiss, or the ‘honeymoon period’. Some people may feel as though their freedom has been stolen. How can you get that back? Perhaps by noticing that your relationship can also open many new doors of freedom? Or if there are no new doors and you only feel pain or are suffering, then changes need to take place in order for you to live a balanced life or begin to find your way to a balanced life. Continuing to experience pain from loss of freedom means that somehow life has not shown you how to feel and be free in all ways possible.

Healthy relationship ideas:

Love is knowing that your partner will leave the door open for you while continuing to show you they care, and not causing you suffering in any way. There will be times of pain, even in a healthy relationship and all emotions continue no matter what. But hopefully the relationship you have with your partner allows you to experience life overall, as a place where your heart is finally beginning to feel healed.

As you walk on with courage and strength within your dating or married life, perhaps moving through the storms and unsatisfying moments that do not create lasting inner peace, may you see all the doors of freedom, so you can make a choice. Surrender to your life, or move on. Life won’t always have better experiences for you, or will rock any boat you are playing your life roles in. Hopefully, the boat you are in gets bigger and becomes more stable over time. As the boat grows (setting aside the realisation that boats in real life cannot grow in this way) you will notice more doors of freedom. Your relationship within that boat will not be the only thing that keeps that boat up right. Supportive people; people and experiences that challenge you; work or hobbies; writing and playing; animals and nature; health and spiritual connection, allowing yourself to experience peace, all of this can help you create a life full of balance, possibilities, fun, trust, and love.

Sending each of you whom reads this a million hugs.

Amanda

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